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Toby Keith sucks something awful (archive post)

(Note: This is a little something from the archives. I am frightfully busy at the moment, but I hate to let this blog hang. Instead I will throw out some old, yet still fantastically hilarious material. Enjoy, rinse, repeat!)

As I jumped in the car for a late night run for baby formula and bourbon, I flipped on the radio to find that it was on my wife's favorite station. The DJ greeted me with "here's the latest from Toby Keith called 'Get My Drink On'". Wow, that man is a modern day Mark Twain. I therefore have compiled a list of song titles I fully expect to be included on his next release.

1. Cousin' Fuckin'
2. Blinded By Your Love (And Moonshine)
3. Let's Pretend You Said Yes
4. Mamma Got Her GED
5. I Eat Squirrel!
6. I'm So American I Shit Eagles
7. Do You Still Have My Boot In Your Ass? (I Need It Back)
8. Drivin' My Truck (All Fucked Up)
9. I'm So Country That I'm Borderline Retarded.

Apparently he is also starting a chain of restaurants. I assume that the place will have the ambiance of a Wal-Mart and smell of urine, body odor and Hamburger Helper.
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