In the interest of a balance view this election. I have decided that we should hear from an individual with disparate views from my own. Since the McCain-Palin campaign has been based upon what is best for the everyman, the “Joe Six-Pack” as it were, I thought it would be best if we heard from a true everyman. The following post comes courtesy of Jessie “Turd” Miller. We found Jessie screaming his political views at a television in the bar area of the Ritzy Titz Gentlemen’s Club, where we certainly do not frequent and they do NOT know us by name.
Ok you liberal fucknuts. I got me six beers and six reasons why McCain is better than Hussein Obama. Hell, I got me six reasons why McCain is better than any man woman or child on the goddamn planet. Frankly, all this liberal bullshit has been making people not think of the stuff that is good about America. That is not a good thing, and I’m smart! I will drink a beer and give you a reason. That way I got a reason to drink a beer! Hell yes!
Reason one: McCain is a maverick!
Just like that series with the guy from the Rockford Files. Remember the Rockford Files? I’ll bet you McCain does! He has probably seen a lot of John Wayne movies too! That is goddamn awesome!
Reason two: McCain is a War Hero!
As I open this second beer, I spill a little for Mr. John McCain. Not like those Negros do, with their 40 ounces and their Hip Hoppin’, but out of true reverential speakin’ about the man. He was in prison. I think it was a long time too. That should be bigger than any issue. Speaking of issues…
Reason three: Sarah Palin is hot…and she kills things!
I had me a hot woman who used to kill things. We were married for three fantastic years. I would like to think that if she hadn’t given all of our savings to that internet preacher and joined him in his mansion of the Followers of Ricky Church of Lots of Women, we would still be together today. I would take her back if she asked me. I hope she is reading this right now. Check it out Bertha! I’m on the internet! Fame and fortune baby!
Reason four: McCain is a war WINNER!
Shit yesss! Any war! Let’s win Iraq, Iran, Russia, the war on drugs, the war on poor people, the battle of the sexes…all of em’! I think that McCain would go back to my last job and help me beat the shit out of that stupid manager Lou Fussert. Remember me Lou! I got fuckin’ McCain on my side now. Who do you got? Brink Martin? Fuck Brink Martin!
Reason five: McCain captured Hussein Bin Osama!
Remember! Dug that fucker right out of the ground like a gopher. A fuckin’ terrorist gopher! Did he see his shadow? That means something right? Yeah, it means America is fucking awesome! McCain and a shovel is all we need!
Reason six: Skynyrd!!!!
Holy shit! Turn this up! Where the skies are so blue! Whoooo! Who’s goin’ to get more beer! You know who would go get more beer? McCain would go get more beer. Is he coming? Did he get my letter? What about the pictures I sent? Internet! Check it out baby! When do I get paid?
Ok you liberal fucknuts. I got me six beers and six reasons why McCain is better than Hussein Obama. Hell, I got me six reasons why McCain is better than any man woman or child on the goddamn planet. Frankly, all this liberal bullshit has been making people not think of the stuff that is good about America. That is not a good thing, and I’m smart! I will drink a beer and give you a reason. That way I got a reason to drink a beer! Hell yes!
Reason one: McCain is a maverick!
Just like that series with the guy from the Rockford Files. Remember the Rockford Files? I’ll bet you McCain does! He has probably seen a lot of John Wayne movies too! That is goddamn awesome!
Reason two: McCain is a War Hero!
As I open this second beer, I spill a little for Mr. John McCain. Not like those Negros do, with their 40 ounces and their Hip Hoppin’, but out of true reverential speakin’ about the man. He was in prison. I think it was a long time too. That should be bigger than any issue. Speaking of issues…
Reason three: Sarah Palin is hot…and she kills things!
I had me a hot woman who used to kill things. We were married for three fantastic years. I would like to think that if she hadn’t given all of our savings to that internet preacher and joined him in his mansion of the Followers of Ricky Church of Lots of Women, we would still be together today. I would take her back if she asked me. I hope she is reading this right now. Check it out Bertha! I’m on the internet! Fame and fortune baby!
Reason four: McCain is a war WINNER!
Shit yesss! Any war! Let’s win Iraq, Iran, Russia, the war on drugs, the war on poor people, the battle of the sexes…all of em’! I think that McCain would go back to my last job and help me beat the shit out of that stupid manager Lou Fussert. Remember me Lou! I got fuckin’ McCain on my side now. Who do you got? Brink Martin? Fuck Brink Martin!
Reason five: McCain captured Hussein Bin Osama!
Remember! Dug that fucker right out of the ground like a gopher. A fuckin’ terrorist gopher! Did he see his shadow? That means something right? Yeah, it means America is fucking awesome! McCain and a shovel is all we need!
Reason six: Skynyrd!!!!
Holy shit! Turn this up! Where the skies are so blue! Whoooo! Who’s goin’ to get more beer! You know who would go get more beer? McCain would go get more beer. Is he coming? Did he get my letter? What about the pictures I sent? Internet! Check it out baby! When do I get paid?
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