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It would be unwise to exchange sex for the following:

3 Chiclets and a spool of red thread

Half a peanut-butter sandwich and a Halls cough drop

A deflated soccer ball and a dime found on the ground

A compilation DVD of Shirley Temple movies and half a Gatorade

Blueprints to a dog house and a Yorkshire terrier

A small bag of confetti and a really good gazpacho recipe

Funyuns

One incomplete jigsaw puzzle and two pieces of a Kit-Kat bar

A nearly empty toothpaste tube and a broken piñata

A tap dance from a hobo and three black checkers

A placemat from Denny's and four packets of Sweet N' Low

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