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Thoughts about the car in front of me...and Glade

Seriously! Did you not see me coming? Jesus, there wasn’t even anyone behind me! Tell me you couldn’t have waited!

Holy shit, what is that smell! Ugh. Is it my car? God, I hope not.

Come on guy! Is this a parade? The little kids are looking at you because they expect you to throw out candy! Go faster!

Seriously, what is that fucking smell? Not only do you have to cut me off and drive so slow you might go backwards at any second but your car smells like total ass! In fact, if I could hook up a hose from my nose to the crack of my ass I would right now. That would be Glade compared to this shit.

Speaking of Glade, what is the deal with the lying woman in the new Glade advertisements? Is Glade not good enough? Why does she fucking buy Glade then?

“Cheryl thanks for the soda. Is this Pepsi?”

“Umm…no. It’s some very rare beverage from South Africa!”

“Cheryl, I can see the bottle from here. It’s Pepsi”

“Oh, that was from earlier. No, this is um…Africola.”

“For Christ’s sake Cheryl, I watched you pour the soda. Does this have to happen every time we come over? I like Pepsi! Other people like Pepsi!”

“No, I flew to Africa and…oh God, Janet, I need help!”

That’s it. I have to roll the windows up. I think this guy’s car is powered by burning cats stuffed with cheese.
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